Still a Little Girl at Heart

November 20, 2006

Ever felt like a little girl trapped in a woman’s body? Sometimes I do.

 Yesterday, I was again in the toy section of SM City trying to beat the Christmas rush because I don’t like shopping when the mall is so crowded. Unti-unti na akong namimili ng mga pang-regalo sa mga bata (sa mga bata lang ha? hehehehe). One of the promo persons was refilling one of the shelves with dolls and little girls, six of them, were around him. They were excitedly inspecting the cute dolls on the shelves. I got excited too because I love dolls. (But I am not into the Barbie kind, those which look dalaga na. I like dolls which look like babies. Mas nakakatuwa kasi tingnan.) So I joined the little girls in their doll-inspection spree. Aside from inspecting the dolls, we also tried out some items on display such as the mini-ironing board, the big Disney-themed cups and saucers and the battery-operated washing machine. It was fun! I had instant little friends!

Masarap talaga maging bata. I appreciate more my childhood years now that I am old. When I was a little girl kasi, I used to imagine myself as a grown up. I viewed the world of adults as a world of order, of certainty, of completeness, of security, of dreams realized. I wanted to experience the promise of the phrase “one day, when you are grown up..” kaya gusto ko agad maging matanda. But the world of adults is so much different from what I’ve thought of. Sometimes it’s chaotic. Sometimes it’s full of uncertainties. Sometimes it’s not secure. Sometimes it’s full of broken dreams.

I think that sometimes it is good for us, adults, to feel like we're not grown ups yet, to feel like we are carefree children again. That way we will enjoy little moments of pure joy. We will smile at simple things. We will be happy with simple pleasures. We will not be bothered living up to some people’s expectations. We will enjoy more the magic that is life.